It’s easy to get stuck in the parental role of the rule enforcer AKA ‘The Jailor.’ See how this compares to The Coach style of parenting.
Parenting Model | The Jailor | The Coach |
---|---|---|
Primary value | Rules | Learning |
Parent’s primary tool | Punishment | Training |
Interaction mode | Conflict | Partnership |
Interaction model | Win-Lose | Win-Win |
Parent social role | Judge | Cheerleader |
Social atmosphere | Critical | Encouragement |
Good behavior | Only when with jailor | Always |
Kid’s self-control source | External | Internal |
Kid’s self view | I am sometimes not bad | I am good |
Kid’s lesson learned | Game the system | Improve my game |
Kid’s objective | Power, control, defenses | Skills and strategies |
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