It’s easy to get stuck in the parental role of the rule enforcer AKA ‘The Jailor.’ See how this compares to The Coach style of parenting.
| Parenting Model | The Jailor | The Coach |
|---|---|---|
| Primary value | Rules | Learning |
| Parent’s primary tool | Punishment | Training |
| Interaction mode | Conflict | Partnership |
| Interaction model | Win-Lose | Win-Win |
| Parent social role | Judge | Cheerleader |
| Social atmosphere | Critical | Encouragement |
| Good behavior | Only when with jailor | Always |
| Kid’s self-control source | External | Internal |
| Kid’s self view | I am sometimes not bad | I am good |
| Kid’s lesson learned | Game the system | Improve my game |
| Kid’s objective | Power, control, defenses | Skills and strategies |
Free to Download, Customize, and Share
This document by Rob Condit is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.